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NOTICE.
!W e cannot fix a system if we do not know how it work, and what causes it to broke down. To prevent a marriage from ending in the divorce court, we must know what broke up marriages and try to fix it before it happen. A mariner do not knowingly put a boat with half broken propeller in the sea.
Amos 3:3-AV Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
The problems that broken up marriages can be classified in to some nineteen category. It is the same problems that broken up marriage from Adam until today. Once a couple know about these pitfalls and talk about them before getting married, their marriage will be a success. The couple need to solve all their differences before children are born to the union. If they are late in doing so, the children will come on the seen and find conflicts among their parents, and In most cases pick up on the mother offences and sided with her. Therefore, the marriage is lost and so is the children. The grandchildren came on the seen and pick up on the children offences and end up hating their grand parents without even knowing what was the problem.
We do not need to earn each other first love, but for that love to grow we have to earn it, we can only earn it if we know how to behave. Any thing that can influence our behaviors so as to cause our disfavors we need to fix such a thing.
POWER STRUGGLE.
Power struggle can be defeated, but it must be defeated before the couple get married. The man and the woman must decide who is going to be the head dog in the relationship. Most men assumed that the man is going to be the head, but the wife do not think so. In USA the black woman is the leader in the family, due to the discrimination that was leveled against black men, in days gone by. The black men could not get jobs, so the wife became the breadwinner, and as time goes by became the dominant one in the relationship. Just look at a black couple go into a store together, in some cases the woman is in front and the black man is in back. While among West Indies black couple, the man is the one in front.
Before getting married you both must decide on who is going to be the one to have emergency power.
In my marriage my wife and I talk about the issues at hand, but if we cannot come to any agreement, I have the right to step in and say this is how it is going to go until we work things out. Being the head do not mean that I made all the decisions. If no one in the marriage have emergency power, ( Head) the progress of the family can be tied up in never ending discussions and never reach anywhere.
According to scriptures the man is the head of the wife, but the wife was told to guide the house. Guide the house and rule the house is the same thing. what the scriptures is saying is that the man has emergency power. If they cannot come to an agreement, he has the right to step in and say this is how it is going to be until we can arrive at a conclusion. It does not mean that the wife has no talk at all.
1 Tim. 5:14 (KJV) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Ephes. 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
BEWARE OF FALLING FOR PEOPLE WHO HAD NO SKILLS.
One of the first problems that a newly married couple is going to face is money. When the lovemaking is over, the couple will find out that there are other things that is just as important. Some women came into the marriage thinking that she will never need to work again, or she can leave her job because she is now a wife. Some men think, my wife is a Nurse and she is making big money, I do not need to ever work again, "I am set for life, to blaze with work" The couple will need to talk about the family financial positions and each person expectation and responsibility, before moving in with each other.
THE INTERFERENCE OF FAMILY AND FRIEND:
The interferences of family and friends is another marriage killer. I have found out that sometime family want to try out the other family spouses. They call this "Take a taste" Whenever, they are ignored, they try to destroy that marriage with malice, they never let up, and never stop seeking for opportunity to bring that marriage to ruin. The newly couple can prevent this from happening, if they talk about what role family and friends is going to play in this new relationship.
GULLIBILITY IS ANOTHER KILLER OF MARRIAGES.
FALLING PREY TO A MIND POISONER:
There are people in this world that can tell you things about your father, and cause you to hate him. A mind poisoner have a way of skillfully transmitted his or her feelings of hate in such a way, that you also hated the person that they are telling you about without even knowing what the person looks like. For unknown reasons, women seem to fall prey to a mind poisoner more easily than men.
To protect yourself from a poisoner, you have to ask yourself a series of questioning. Why is he /she telling me all this? What does this have to do with me? What are the other side of the story? What is he/she trying to accomplish here? Does the victims have a right to a hearing? Just suppose this is a mistake?
The most dangerous mind poisoners are call "Mischief makers" They did things for jokes, he did not hate his or her victims, nor even meant any harm. I over heard one worker say" Things is too quiet around here, I need to start some rumors, we need some excitement"
Romans 3:13-AV Their throat [is] an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps [is] under their lips:
James 3:5-AV Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! James 3:6-AV And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
James 3:7-AV For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: James 3:8-AV But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
SOME OF THE MOST CUNNING MIND POISONERS ARE IN THE CHURCHES:
If you drink down every thing you hear from church people, you will be soon ruing. Proverbs 17:17-AV A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 18:24-AV A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.
Women attitude changes accordingly to what they hear, the men saw the attitude, and assumed that the woman have a man on the side.
The attack of family and friend upon a marriage will comes in three phases. The first phase is when they came in siding with one member, but at the same time they really came in to bring about a split, and not to unite the couple. A man and his wife are one and whenever, a problem arises among them, they should be treated as one. This is the most dangerous phase, because they came in as friend. The second phase is when they came in as friend of both partners. However, the encouragement that they give is intended to split them up. The third and final phase is when they came in as enemy, they declare open war upon both. This happen when the other two phase failed.
BAD HABITS:
TABOO:
CONTROLLING SPIRIT.
UNSATISFIED SEX LIFE:
Many female was abuse as a child by their father, uncle, bigger brother, and by their mother's boy friends. Also as they grew into womanhood the constant stares and looks of lust from men further causes them to hate sex. Not because a person looks physically attractive mean that sex is apart of their life. If a person got married to such an abuse person, he/she will never had a good sex life with that person. People who look down upon sex do not do it just like that, they have a bad history behind all that negative image of sex. A prospective lover need to know all this.
It take a lot of physical and emotional abuses to make a person loses their need for sex, prospective lover need to make another pick and leave this person alone until they get emotional healing. Sex is an instinct just like the instinct of going to the toilet, rerunning away from danger or getting hungry. To stop going to the toilet or stop eating is not possible, if one want to live.
The sex instinct is no different from any of the other instincts. The same way how people can build up or shape their body, it is the same things that can be done to the sex drive. It can be improve with proper diet, and proper vitamins and mineral. A woman at any age can have a good sex life. People that I am taking care of in the nursing home here in the USA, people of same age is living with their boy friend in Jamaica. Some fifty years old women back home it take a twenty years old man to satisfied her sexually, simple because they eat right and take care of themselves. If you want your sex drive to work you have to read up on the subject. You cannot live with a man and have sex only when you want, one of those lucky days. He will leave.
CONFLICTING SEXUAL PREFERENCES:
BAD BACK GROUND:
NO SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE:
Ephesians 5:24-AV Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:25-AV Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:28-AV So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:29-AV For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:33-AV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
1Timothy 5:14-AV I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 1Timothy 5:15-AV For some are already turned aside after Satan.
Matthew 7:12-AV Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
THE END
