PREMARITAL COUNSELING

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PREMARITAL COUNSELING PREMARITAL COUNSELING

May God’s richest blessing be yours today.

Spirit of God

PREMARITAL COUNSELING

NOTICE.

What you need to know about the legality of using these articles

AUTHOR: Rev J.A.McBean Sr

Copyright C 1998 Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559
Proverbs 22:3 "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."
INTRODUCTION.
One of the reasons why people get lost and are left stranded on our vast high way yearly, is due to the fact that they did not take a map and do a study of the route they should have taken before they left home.Without proper information you bound to get lost in the storm of life.
You might inquire on the purpose of this book. I've done extensive research on failed relationships and concluded that marriages could be saved if the engaging parties recieved training before they entered into that sacred arena.
A Marriage is a life long investment, it is not cheep either, one ring, one wedding gown, entertainment of guests, all this can mount up in the thousands, and leave a couple indebt even before they start out. Five years after my marriage we were still paying bills that we did not even know about.
The contents of this book will not surround sex because usally relationships are broken up long before sex becomes the paramount issue. Moreover, Sex is the only problem in marriage that can be fix with pills, good eating and good rest.
This book fills in for the pastors with little or no time. It is a teaching manual. I have done a few books based on marriages. I've discovered that many people who get married did not get any premarital council, nor do any snap course on the subject before they got married. Due to this lack of information, their lives are tangled up.
Men and women do not understand each other like how they profess. For example a woman is concerned on how cute she looks, while the man is more concern on her attitude and her availability. One cannot live with people if you do not understand them. And to understand people, you have to draw upon someone elses experience.
When people saw somebody that they think they are in love with, it is important that they bear in mind that what they are looking at is the person’s physical appearances. The person’s characters, attitudes, concept, upbringing, hurts and mind set are not reveals in their physical appearances. All of what you expect from that good looking body might not be available to you are anyone. It also make good sense not to get your hopes up when dealing with people.
MAKE SURE IT IS YOUR SIZE.
One thing you do not want, it is something that is too tight for you. A relationship that strangulate you, can squeeze the pulp out of you, you need breathing space. If you wait to step in the mess by yourself before you believe that mess is lying by the roadside, you will step in a lot of mess. For example, many African-American women get married to Jamaican men and have a successful marriage, at the same time equal amount have bad experiences. The reasons for the bad experience is because these women did not do a study on the Jamaican culture. You need to know about the culture the man is coming from. In America, Black women take the leading role because long time down the road they are quicker to get employment than the men, and he who carry the purse rule the home. In Jamaica, the men take the leading role, because the man work and support the wife and children.
The Jamaican man walks in front while his wife walk behind or beside him. He is the head of his family and any day he finds out that he is not the head he will leave. If you do not agree with the culture do not bother to marry to the men, it is not going to work. This is just an example.
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM.
Real bad problems seldom arise before the marriage begins, if it does it is a rare case. It is after the marriage that all the bad habits are going to show its ugly head. What was cute and funny during the courtship and engagement period, the same thing is dumb and stupid during the marriage. You might never hear your intended spouse pass a gas, nor pig out around the dinner table. But wait until the marriage all the "lady-ism" and the "gentleman-ism" is thrown through the windows along with the under wears.
This book is a counseling manual for those who are planning to get married. I will assume that you already have an occupation in place or is learning one.
I also want to assume that you have read many of my books about marriages. I also want to assume that you are not scared of Bible verses, because we will be using them. Before you consider getting married, have your own happiness before you get married. Have your own self esteem. Do not come looking to get these from another person. Dump out the baggage from the previous bad relationship. Get healing for that emotional cut. Burry the dead dog, and burn the dead cat, but do not bring them over.
THINGS THAT BREAK UP MARRIAGES.
The reason for this book is to point out some of the things that break up marriages. If you are driving from Florida to Georgia and you were told that somebody is going to ambush you at the border of Florida and Georgia, you would make some adjustment to your travel. Either by changing the time of traveling, or by changing your vehicle, changing route, or postponing your visit to Georgia all together. But, you will have to do something, even a monkey would take up decisive actions.
The relationship falls apart because the couple did not cement the relationship. The marriage bond made their relationship legal between God and man. But, then we need to bear in mind that external forces can break up a marriage.
Matthew 19:5 (NASB-U) and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? Matthew 19:6 (NASB-U) "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
Therefore, the couple must have certain principles, establishes between them both, to stabilized the relationship. For example, you have to have a game plan how you two are going to deal with hear-says, because it is going to come. Many a marriage broken up at the work place lunch room, base on hear-says.
This book is to point out the marital ambushes along the way. One of the first culprit in downing a marriage is
“Power struggle”
Power struggle between wife and husband can leave a marriage tied up for thirty years until the marriage finally evaporates. Some couples could buy an house a long time ago but cannot come to any agreement on what kind of house to buy and where to buy the house. The power struggle among them hinders them from coming to any agreement.
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE DEAD FISH AND ITS PAST BEHIND.
The smart thing to do is to agree on who have emergency power in the new relationship. Which one of us two is the head of this new family? If you two cannot agree on that it does not make any sense to go any further together.

"Hear says”
hear says, and the Interference of family and friends, can poison a marriage for ages. This is another marriage killer. Painful childhood upbringing, like sexual abuses can causes a woman to be bitter and her husband never know what is bothering her, always thinking that he is the one making her unhappy.
“Money trouble”
You know what they say when money stop rolling it is the head that rolls.You will have to think about the monetary side of a relationship, and have plans for it even before you two moving in together.
“Sexual preferences”
one of my friend marriage broke up because her husband wanted anal sex, oral sex and do not want to go to the vagina. You two need to talk about sexual preferences before marriage. I am not syaing that anal is right or anal is wrong, I am just sayaing in order to create a balance both parties should have discussed, prior to getting married, what sexual actions each would be willing to committ.
It is important to know that each party is responsible for their mate sexual fulfillment; you cannot just ignore it or wish it away. You cannot push it aside and use it like a jukebox, whenever you have personal need and when you have the time. That is not how it works in God’s law. You have to think about your mate need and make adjustment for it. Some people do not think what they are getting into; they do things according to feelings.
1 Cor. 7:1-5 (NASB) Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. [4] The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. [5] Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Cor. 7:1-5 (KJV) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
“Look phobia”
is a symbol of insecurity. One mate is scared of who the other mate is looking at and scared of whom is looking at their mate. This look phobia problem can imprison the life and freedom of the other mate. Every body look at other people, the only difference is that women and men do it differently. Women use their peripheral vision or positioned themselves to have the man in line of vision, then give him a good look over, while men turn thier heads and look, but we all look. We should not let our feelings get hurt only because a spouse is looking. We should try to find out what about that person that cause he she to be looking and see if we could adopt that thing.
Disagreement
is another problem that will arise. How do we deal with disagreement? How do we deal with grievance? The massage of this book is that the two people get together and talk about these problems long before they become a problem. Killing the bugs before they stay around the stink the place up. The fact that we are people , and have different upbringing, different likeness and dislikes, lays the ground work for disagreements to spring up.
AGE COMPATIBILITY.
Abraham was ten years older that his wife. When the man and a the woman is on the same age, you cannot ask that woman to be subjective to that man. A girl is much more mature and advance than a boy of same age. This is like putting a man who do not have an high school diploma, to be the supervisor of a man that has a Master’s degree. Age mean a lot, also as women age, their sex drive tend to go off line, incomparable with men. This might be offensive to some women, but if happiness is what you are shopping for you better take age into account. Even though, this is not true in all cases. Because some old woman can keep a young boy up all night.
Genesis 17:17 (KJV) Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?
1 Peter 3:5-7 (KJV) For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [6] Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. [7] Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
HAVE A GAME PLAN IN PLACE.
Therefore, the smart things to do is to have a game plan in place that will illustrate how we are going to deal with disagreements and all the other problems when they arises.
IN GENERAL.
The churches should give courses to their members who are coming into maturity for marriage, long before they even find a mate. Courses in money handling, working, banking, shopping, cooking and child raring. The churches should have work shops, where people learn to do basic needle works. Because all this will come in handy in the years to come. People need training and how to develop problem handling skills.
RELATIONSHIP.
It is said that eighty five percent of a person success depends on other people. Maintaining a good relationship with others is as vital as the air we breathe. You have to know human nature, understand their grudges and their greed. Understand them and be sensitive to their needs and feelings. Even when you do, you are going to get into trouble with people, then suppose you did not know? A relationship is a shared life. Once you entered into a relationship with somebody you have shared your life with them. You cannot go off on your own and contract any business without the knowledge and consent of your spouse. Why not? Because it involves your spouse.
If my wife miss her car payment the company call me. If she is late with her credit card payment the company call me. It involves me. Not her father nor sisters. If you cannot make adjustment in your life for a spouse, do not seek a spouse because it will not work.
BEWARE OF TUMBLE BUGS.
As a boy growing up in Jamaica. I remember seen a certain kind of black bugs we called "tumble bugs". Every time you see them they have a ball of dung before them pushing. These reminded me of certain kind of in-laws. The wife's family who dig up dung and plant hard feeling in their female relatives. These relatives "plant hard feelings" by makeing jokes, drop a word here and drop a word there. They also make an indirect suggestion and break the peace of the family. If they are slighting your spouse, it is something they are trying to tell you indirectly. Get rid of him, or you cannot be a part of us. But you are not a part of them, wait until the man get fed up and quit, and you will see who is with you. Then they have you working in their back yard. Washing up their pots and pans. Tumble bugs never stop dig. People who were digging under my marriage, twenty years later they are still digging. If you should put a tap on the telephone conversation coming from those in-laws, your belly would have drop out. Every hard feeling that people plant in your mind you must examine its source, and ask yourself if it is justified.
If you do not do this Satan can use people to plant ill-feelings and doubts in your spirit. And by doing so, they bring a quick end to your marriage. A lady friend of mine went overseas and got married. Her relative know of the man womanizing yet they did not inform her. Even when she came down to married to the man, they stood there and watch her getting married to the man and did not warn her. She return to the state and send for the man, and they still did not tell her of his behavior. The man came up and she is happy. Now the relative began to tell her of the man past behaviors. Why wait until now? Listen to your own hearts, do not make friends and relative plant ill-feelings in you. Do not make them use your head to break up your own life.
MARRYING INTERRACIALLY
We have an article on our web sites that, Title “ How to married INTERRACIALLY and have success” If you plan to marry out of your race. It is important to know that you have to make adjustment in your own life for that. Certain Family and friend might have to be left out. You might need to change town, are do not live too close to people that might not agree with your decision. Interracial marriage stand a great chance of success if the two people research each other background, and make adjustment for prejudice family. If it is nice across the fence, then you must be prepare to stay across the fence. For example, a black and white couple, might not fit in a black community nor in a white community, you need to keep close to other interracially couples. This is where you bound to find acceptance. Do not try to make others understand, just get on with your life.
BEWARE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE POSSESSED WITH FAMILIAR SPIRITS
Leviticus 19:31 Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the Lord your God.
Familiar spirit are very friendly evil spirits. You will swear to God that this is one of the nicest person there is, but wait until you move in with them. A person being poses with this spirit can fool almost any Christians, especially Christians in charismatic circles.
THIS PERSON IS A CONTROL FREAKS.
This person cannot change and cannot take rejections. Some of them give their mate an ultimatum” You have to kill me, but you are not leaving me” Any where you move to the person always turn up, sitting down outside in their car, watching your house. Some of them use the police to find you. Eventually you might have to just blow him away. This is why you will need the spirit of God to show you what you are jumping into.
John 16:13 (NASB) "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.
DO NOT SEEK SAME SEX COUNCILORS.
It is best to use counselor of the upper-sex. Because women tend to side with women and men tend to side with men, When your marriage is about to hit the rock, there is no time for stupid and one-sided counselors.
Sirach 42:13. For just as moths come from garments, so harm to women comes from women “The New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition.”
Women does not make good women counselors, for women. They tend to take side, and sometime side taking is not going to help your marriage. You need somebody who will help you find a way to make it work. One woman post a massage on the web site. Her Jamaican husband of ten years marriage want too much sex. The truth is if he still want her after ten years of marriage, then he really think well of her.
Sirach 6:7. When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him. Sirach 6:8 For one sort of friend is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress. The New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition.”
Never speak about your spouse to your friends, and if they start a conversation along that line, get up and leave. They are trying to worm their way under your skins.
PRE-MARITAL CONTRACT:
If you love me and trust me why a contract? Trust must be earned, you get my love now you must earned my trust.
In the world of business, it is not what you deserve you get, but what you negociate for. The same way how a country has to have some kind of constitution, or written document on how that country should be run. It is the same way how the new family or new relationship, will need to have something, or some principles by which the new relationship is going to operate by.
If you are coming into the relationship intend to get and not to give you will need to have that in pre-marital agreement.
The good thing about a premarital agreement is that it make each party aware of what they are getting into. If you want to keep your go-go dancing professions, you will need to have it in the premarital contract. You also need to put a clause in it that you do not want your mate to come watch any of your show. You will have to shake your stuff in people’s face to get your good tips, and you do not want he or she standing there like a head dog over you. If you drink your beer, you will need to have it in the pre-marital contract. If you are a counselor, and have to keep your counseling in confidentiality. You do not want to relate people problems to your mate, you will need to have that in the contract. You do not want an evedropping mate, who keep peeking and poking like a mosquito.
DO NOT FORGET MEDICAL RECORD AND BACKGROUND CHECK.
You are going to be sleeping with this person you are moving in with, I would want to assumed. Do you know what disease he she might have? One of my patient is dying from HIV, the man she married to gave it to her. She was a virgin when he married her. After bringing her home the same night he gave her the HIV. If a person refuses to voluntary exchange medical record and police record before getting married, that person have something hiding. If they ask you for trust. Yes!! I trust you with belt upon your backside.
MIX-RACE MARRIAGE.
“You cannot eat your cake and have it” From the beginning of time there was all ways interracial marriage. Nothing is wrong with that. But tell that to the couples prejudice relative and friends. If you married to a white person you have gone white. You are white. If you married to a black person, you have gone black. You are black. Make your mind up before you cross the racial fence. There is going to be a split between you and some of your relative. Can you live with that? The split will not be forever, if you stand up to them and abandon them for your spouse, they will return to you after about eight years, when they saw you both still going on together.
You cannot have their favour, and have your spouse at the same time if they disapprove of your decision. Some parents invest thousands of dollars in their children and feel insulted when that child married contrary to the parents will.
Some family have a thing called “ The family secret” Where they want each other and are upset with new comers. Do not push your face where it is not wanted. It does not make sense that you get your face rub in mud. Do not make stupid decisions, then blame it on the lord when you find your life tangle up. Some Christians make me laugh. I was driving down the road with one of my brother in law, he was driving very hard, I asked him why? He replied that it is the Lord that is driving his car so I must not worry. I told him to take away the car from the Lord and drive it himself, because the Lord is driving too rough. Do not act stupid then blame it on the Lord.
One of the reasons why Eastern marriages seem to work, and there are but few divorce, it is the women relative from both sides that chooses the bride. Since they are the one that do the choosing, they do not want to be the ones to do the breaking up. Therefore they try to promote the marriage instead of tearing it down.
MONTHS BEFORE THE MARRIAGE.
Introduce your intended spouse to your family. Ask their blessing. Any member that refuse to give you their blessing, move away and stay away from that family member. Because that person is going to stir up trouble, dig under and dig over. Drop a word here and drop a word there, until they bring about the breaking up of your marriage. If my reader is a man, beware how you push yourself into a group of sisters and cousins who are competing for the same man. Nothing good will ever come out of it.
LEAVE YOURSELF AN OUT.
Some people cannot change not even if their life depends on it. Also they are not honest, they will know that their life is like a broken down car and come to you with it.
One man came into one of our church, and married off himself to one of our strongest black woman, twenty-eight years old, while knowing that he is impotent.
Another lady, married to certain man. The guy would never go to work; he left all the bills on her. Finally, she dumps him. He keep coming back begging to be given one more chance, as soon as she let him back in within two months he is right back to his own self again. She dumps him one last time. He came to her house one morning, they argue, she went into her car, before she move off, she do not know where he went so quickly. She came out of the car to look around, she found him lying down on the ground crossway her car. He prefers to be killed ending his life and her life before making one change.
IF THE RELATIONSHIP GOES BAD, CAN I LEAVE WITHOUT WE HAVE TO KILL EACH OTHER?
You need to ask these questions, and get an answer before moving in with any body. Tricksters will try to say you do not trust them, but trust is always earned. Trust must be earned and not came from love. One does not need to earn love but trust must be earned. You must prove yourself before I leave you with my ten year old daughter. You will ned to know if you can leave, if things goes bad, and avoid blood shed.
LEAVE ROOM FOR RECONCILIATIONS
Leave room for reconciliations. During a quarrel or a misunderstanding, do not say and do too much that when the misunderstanding clear up, you two cannot get back together. Some people say and do so much that when the truth came out, they cannot even face the accused party and beg forgiveness. Do not act and hear says.
Let us face the fact, no matter how much education we had on a subject we can go out there and made the worst mistakes of our life, that cause us dearly. Only Jesus Christ can help us with our decision-making.
Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
WE must begin, continue, and end every work, purpose, and plan with God. Self-sufficiency and self-confidence have been the ruin of mankind ever since the fall. Man's sin has been to live independently of God. True religion consists of full acknowledgement of God in all human affairs (Proverbs 3:5).
THE END
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THE LAW OF SOWING AND REAPING.
Do you want God to throw money at you? Help you out of tuff places? Restore your health and give you new friends. Well learn to lend to God.
Proverbs 19:17 (Living) When you help the poor you are lending to the Lord--and he pays wonderful interest on your loan!
Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Job 42:10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
TO RECEIVE FORGIVNESS YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GIVE IT.
Mark 11:26 (KJV) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL PROSPERITY YOU MUST BE WILLING TO PLANT SEED OF FINANCE INTO OTHER PEOPLE MINISTRY.
2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
JOB WAS DELIVERED AFTER HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS.
Job 42:10 After Job had interceded for his friends, GOD restored his fortune--and then doubled it! Job 42:11 All his brothers and sisters and friends came to his house and celebrated. They told him how sorry they were, and consoled him for all the trouble GOD had brought him. Each of them brought generous housewarming gifts.
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THE END
Come back for update soon.
The author of this article.
Rev. James McBean. Sr
Was born in Jamaica west Indies.
Bachelor In Theology.
Masters in Christians counseling.
Member of the AACC. American Association of Christians councilors
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THE LAW OF SOWING AND REAPING.
Do you want God to throw money at you? Help you out of tuff places? Restore your health and give you new friends. Well learn to lend to God.
Proverbs 19:17 (Living) When you help the poor you are lending to the Lord--and he pays wonderful interest on your loan!
Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Job 42:10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
TO RECEIVE FORGIVNESS YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GIVE IT.
Mark 11:26 (KJV) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL PROSPERITY YOU MUST BE WILLING TO PLANT SEED OF FINANCE INTO OTHER PEOPLE MINISTRY.
2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
JOB WAS DELIVERED AFTER HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS.
Job 42:10 After Job had interceded for his friends, GOD restored his fortune--and then doubled it! Job 42:11 All his brothers and sisters and friends came to his house and celebrated. They told him how sorry they were, and consoled him for all the trouble GOD had brought him. Each of them brought generous housewarming gifts.

The Black Falcon

Bearer Of The Mind Sword, defender of the cross, protector of the Glory.
Let us face the fact, no matter how much education we had on a subject we can go out there and made the worst mistakes of our life, that cause us dearly. Only Jesus Christ can help us with our decision-making.
Proverbs 3:6 in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Psalm 34:8 (NASB-U) O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
HOW TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN.
Many people went to court each year and received a terrible sentences from the judge, and because they have no knowledge, they did not know that they could have ask the court for mercy or leniency, and end up knocking off a few years just by asking, it is the privilege of every citizen. Many people died and went to hell and never have the nerve to even ask God for mercy. Is there mercy for a hopeless sinner who has hurt all mankind? Yes!
Isaiah 7:11 (ASV) Ask thee a sign of Jehovah thy God; ask it either in the depth, or in the height above. Isaiah 7:12 (ASV) But Ahaz said, I will not ask, neither will I tempt Jehovah.
Ezekiel 18:32 (ASV) For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord Jehovah: wherefore turn yourselves, and live.
First you must recognize that you are a sinner and need God mercy.
Romans 3:23 (KJV) For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Then you must know that God sent his son Jesus to die for your sins.
1 Peter 2:24 (Living) He personally carried the load of our sins in his own body when he died on the cross so that we can be finished with sin and live a good life from now on. For his wounds have healed ours!
YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF.
Ephes. 2:8 (ASV) for by grace have ye been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; Ephes. 2:9 (ASV) not of works, that no man should glory.
2 Peter 3:18 (ASV) But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and for ever. Amen.
Zech. 4:7 (KJV) Who art thou, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, grace unto it.
Eph 2:8 The Message Bible” “Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! Eph 2:9 We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing!” There nothing you could do to save yourself , the only thing you could do is bowed your head and ask God to save you.
You must believe that there is a God.
Hebrews 11:6 (Living) You can never please God without faith, without depending on him. Anyone who wants to come to God must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely look for him.
No other person can save you except Jesus.
Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
Acts 4:12 (Living) There is salvation in no one else! Under all heaven there is no other name for men to call upon to save them."
Then you must know that God invites you to come to him.
Isaiah 1:18 (Living) "Come, let's talk this over!" says the Lord; "no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!
Do not wait until tomorrow to get save.
2Co 6:2 (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is] the accepted time; behold, now {is] the day of salvation.)
2Co 6:2 The Message Bible. “God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help. Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped.”
Delay not your conversion to the lord, put it not off from day to day. Remember that tomorrow is promise to no man. Accept the lord, go home and continue with your life, if the lord.. If the lord saves you in bad life style, he has some plan up his sleeve how to get you out of it, give him time to work out his salvation in your life.
WHOSEOEVER SHALL CALL.
Acts 2:21 (KJV) And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Romans 10:13 (KJV) For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Ezekiel 33:11 (KJV) Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?
Now bow your head and pray this prayer.
Dear God, our heavenly father, I am a sinner and need to be save, would you save me this moment from all my sin? Save me now, because your son Jesus had died for my sin. Thank you for saving me and give me peace, in Jesus name.
From this day onward you will begin to feel a flood of joy and peace full your heart and mind. You must confess Jesus to others with your mouth. Tell what great thing the lord had done for you. Romans 10:9 (Living) For if you tell others with your own mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and believe in your own heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Then you need to start reading the bible, start reading from St Mathew.
1 Peter 2:2 (Living) Now that you realize how kind the Lord has been to you, put away all evil, deception, envy, and fraud. Long to grow up into the fullness of your salvation; cry for this as a baby cries for his milk. 1 Tim. 4:13 (KJV) Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.
THE LORD WILL MAKE YOU HOLY IN HIS OWN TIME.
1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
OUR BODY WAS NOT REEDEM AT CONVERSION.
Romans 8:23 (GW) However, not only creation groans. We, who have the Spirit as the first of God's gifts, also groan inwardly. We groan as we eagerly wait for our adoption, the freeing of our bodies {from sin}.
Rom 8:21 that the creation itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the liberty of the glory of the children of God. Rom 8:22 For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. Rom 8:23 And not only so, but ourselves also, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for our adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
THE SINS OF THE BODY WILL NOT BE CONQUERED LITERALY BY ALL SAINTS WHILE LIVING ON EARTH.
2 Cor. 5:10 (NASB-U) For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
When the Lord redeemed us our body was not redeem, it was our spirit and soul. The changes took place in our spirit man. Not the body. The body will still continue to sin. If the believer do not know this they will become worried as to why am I still lusting? And became eaten up with guilt to the point where they experience no peace and joy.
Even though our body were not redeem, we who wanting to live up to certain standard, to please society, must bring our body into subjection, even thou we do not do that to buy salvation. But to prevent Satan from capitalized on it. But to bring this body into subjection take time. We saw belivers at the judgment seat of Christ in heaven being judge for the deeds of the body.
1 Cor. 9:27 (NASB-U)but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.
2 Cor. 2:11 (NASB-U) so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.
Romans 12:1 (GW)Brothers and sisters, in view of all we have just shared about God's compassion, I encourage you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, dedicated to God and pleasing to him. This kind of worship is appropriate for you.
2 Cor. 12:7 (NASB-U)Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself!
SOME THING YOU OVERCAME IT BY IMPUTED GRACE.
2 Cor. 12:8 (NASB-U)Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 2 Cor. 12:9 (NASB-U) And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
“I saw a river of blood, flows from Calvary Mountain, I am in it and your are in it, and I am clean, clean” By Smith Wiggle worth.
We can sing with the song writer" I rise walk in heaven’s own light above the world and sin with heart made pure and garments white, and Christ en-throned with in. The cleansing stream I see I see I plunge, and O It cleans-eth me. O praise the Lord, it cleans-eth me, it cleans-eth me yes, cleans-eth me."

HOW TO CONTINUE IN THE FAITH.
Hosea 6:3 Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.
The first thing you will need to know is this. Beware of people who come laying hands on you say they are filling you with the Holy Ghost. That is how people get possess with demonic spirits. God will give you every thing you need to fit you out for his service in his own times. You do not need to push any thing nor to make any thing happen. Wait until God make it happen.
A NEW MIND-SET.
After the lord save a person there are some things that the person must do on their own. All the work is not just up to Jesus. You must developed a different mind set, from the one you have before you were converted. Not a holier that thou mind set but a new mind.
Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Eph 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
GIVE YOURSELF AWAY TO THE THINGS OF GOD.
1Ti 4:13 Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 1Ti 4:14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery. 1Ti 4:15 Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. 1Ti 4:16 Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.
Jer 29:13 The Message Bible. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else,

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May God’s richest blessing be yours today.

What you need to know about the legality of using these articles

AUTHOR: Rev J.A.McBean Sr

Copyright C 1998 Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559

Proverbs 22:3 "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished." INTRODUCTION.

One of the reasons why people get lost and are left stranded on our vast high way yearly, is due to the fact that they did not take a map and do a study of the route they should have taken before they left home.Without proper information you bound to get lost in the storm of life.

You might inquire on the purpose of this book. I've done extensive research on failed relationships and concluded that marriages could be saved if the engaging parties recieved training before they entered into that sacred arena.

A Marriage is a life long investment, it is not cheep either, one ring, one wedding gown, entertainment of guests, all this can mount up in the thousands, and leave a couple indebt even before they start out. Five years after my marriage we were still paying bills that we did not even know about.

The contents of this book will not surround sex because usally relationships are broken up long before sex becomes the paramount issue. Moreover, Sex is the only problem in marriage that can be fix with pills, good eating and good rest.

This book is a counseling manual for those who are planning to get married. I will assume that you already have an occupation in place or is learning one.

The relationship falls apart because the couple did not cement the relationship. The marriage bond made their relationship legal between God and man. But, then we need to bear in mind that external forces can break up a marriage.

Matthew 19:5 (NASB-U) and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? Matthew 19:6 (NASB-U) "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

This book is to point out the marital ambushes along the way. One of the first culprit in downing a marriage is “Power struggle”

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed? YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE DEAD FISH AND ITS PAST BEHIND.

The smart thing to do is to agree on who have emergency power in the new relationship. Which one of us two is the head of this new family? If you two cannot agree on that it does not make any sense to go any further together.

"Hear says”

You know what they say when money stop rolling it is the head that rolls.You will have to think about the monetary side of a relationship, and have plans for it even before you two moving in together. “Sexual preferences”

Genesis 17:17 (KJV) Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

Therefore, the smart things to do is to have a game plan in place that will illustrate how we are going to deal with disagreements and all the other problems when they arises. IN GENERAL.

If my wife miss her car payment the company call me. If she is late with her credit card payment the company call me. It involves me. Not her father nor sisters. If you cannot make adjustment in your life for a spouse, do not seek a spouse because it will not work. BEWARE OF TUMBLE BUGS.

Leviticus 19:31 Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the Lord your God.

John 16:13 (NASB) "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. DO NOT SEEK SAME SEX COUNCILORS.

It is best to use counselor of the upper-sex. Because women tend to side with women and men tend to side with men, When your marriage is about to hit the rock, there is no time for stupid and one-sided counselors.

Sirach 42:13. For just as moths come from garments, so harm to women comes from women “The New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition.”

Sirach 6:7. When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him. Sirach 6:8 For one sort of friend is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress. The New American Bible, Saint Joseph Edition.”

Never speak about your spouse to your friends, and if they start a conversation along that line, get up and leave. They are trying to worm their way under your skins. PRE-MARITAL CONTRACT:

If you love me and trust me why a contract? Trust must be earned, you get my love now you must earned my trust.

If you are coming into the relationship intend to get and not to give you will need to have that in pre-marital agreement.

You cannot have their favour, and have your spouse at the same time if they disapprove of your decision. Some parents invest thousands of dollars in their children and feel insulted when that child married contrary to the parents will.

Some people cannot change not even if their life depends on it. Also they are not honest, they will know that their life is like a broken down car and come to you with it.

One man came into one of our church, and married off himself to one of our strongest black woman, twenty-eight years old, while knowing that he is impotent.

Let us face the fact, no matter how much education we had on a subject we can go out there and made the worst mistakes of our life, that cause us dearly. Only Jesus Christ can help us with our decision-making.

Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Come back for update soon.

Do you want God to throw money at you? Help you out of tuff places? Restore your health and give you new friends. Well learn to lend to God.

Proverbs 19:17 (Living) When you help the poor you are lending to the Lord--and he pays wonderful interest on your loan!

Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Job 42:10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. TO RECEIVE FORGIVNESS YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GIVE IT.

Mark 11:26 (KJV) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL PROSPERITY YOU MUST BE WILLING TO PLANT SEED OF FINANCE INTO OTHER PEOPLE MINISTRY.

2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. JOB WAS DELIVERED AFTER HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS.

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Come back for update soon. The author of this article.

Rev. James McBean. Sr

Was born in Jamaica west Indies.

Bachelor In Theology.

Masters in Christians counseling.

Member of the AACC. American Association of Christians councilors

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THE LAW OF SOWING AND REAPING.

Do you want God to throw money at you? Help you out of tuff places? Restore your health and give you new friends. Well learn to lend to God.

Proverbs 19:17 (Living) When you help the poor you are lending to the Lord--and he pays wonderful interest on your loan!

Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Job 42:10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. TO RECEIVE FORGIVNESS YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GIVE IT.

Mark 11:26 (KJV) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL PROSPERITY YOU MUST BE WILLING TO PLANT SEED OF FINANCE INTO OTHER PEOPLE MINISTRY.

2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. JOB WAS DELIVERED AFTER HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS.

The Black Falcon

Bearer Of The Mind Sword, defender of the cross, protector of the Glory.

Let us face the fact, no matter how much education we had on a subject we can go out there and made the worst mistakes of our life, that cause us dearly. Only Jesus Christ can help us with our decision-making.

Proverbs 3:6 in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalm 34:8 (NASB-U) O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! HOW TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN.

Isaiah 7:11 (ASV) Ask thee a sign of Jehovah thy God; ask it either in the depth, or in the height above. Isaiah 7:12 (ASV) But Ahaz said, I will not ask, neither will I tempt Jehovah.

Ezekiel 18:32 (ASV) For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord Jehovah: wherefore turn yourselves, and live. First you must recognize that you are a sinner and need God mercy.

Romans 3:23 (KJV) For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Then you must know that God sent his son Jesus to die for your sins.

1 Peter 2:24 (Living) He personally carried the load of our sins in his own body when he died on the cross so that we can be finished with sin and live a good life from now on. For his wounds have healed ours! YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF.

Ephes. 2:8 (ASV) for by grace have ye been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; Ephes. 2:9 (ASV) not of works, that no man should glory.

2 Peter 3:18 (ASV) But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and for ever. Amen.

Zech. 4:7 (KJV) Who art thou, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, grace unto it.

Hebrews 11:6 (Living) You can never please God without faith, without depending on him. Anyone who wants to come to God must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely look for him. No other person can save you except Jesus.

Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Acts 4:12 (Living) There is salvation in no one else! Under all heaven there is no other name for men to call upon to save them." Then you must know that God invites you to come to him.

Isaiah 1:18 (Living) "Come, let's talk this over!" says the Lord; "no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool! Do not wait until tomorrow to get save.

2Co 6:2 (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is] the accepted time; behold, now {is] the day of salvation.)

2Co 6:2 The Message Bible. “God reminds us, I heard your call in the nick of time; The day you needed me, I was there to help. Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped.”

Acts 2:21 (KJV) And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Romans 10:13 (KJV) For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Ezekiel 33:11 (KJV) Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel? Now bow your head and pray this prayer.

Dear God, our heavenly father, I am a sinner and need to be save, would you save me this moment from all my sin? Save me now, because your son Jesus had died for my sin. Thank you for saving me and give me peace, in Jesus name.

Proverbs 22:3 "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."
INTRODUCTION.

This book is to point out the marital ambushes along the way. One of the first culprit in downing a marriage is
“Power struggle”

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE DEAD FISH AND ITS PAST BEHIND.

You know what they say when money stop rolling it is the head that rolls.You will have to think about the monetary side of a relationship, and have plans for it even before you two moving in together.
“Sexual preferences”

Therefore, the smart things to do is to have a game plan in place that will illustrate how we are going to deal with disagreements and all the other problems when they arises.
IN GENERAL.

If my wife miss her car payment the company call me. If she is late with her credit card payment the company call me. It involves me. Not her father nor sisters. If you cannot make adjustment in your life for a spouse, do not seek a spouse because it will not work.
BEWARE OF TUMBLE BUGS.

John 16:13 (NASB) "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.
DO NOT SEEK SAME SEX COUNCILORS.

Never speak about your spouse to your friends, and if they start a conversation along that line, get up and leave. They are trying to worm their way under your skins.
PRE-MARITAL CONTRACT:

Job 42:10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
TO RECEIVE FORGIVNESS YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GIVE IT.

Mark 11:26 (KJV) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL PROSPERITY YOU MUST BE WILLING TO PLANT SEED OF FINANCE INTO OTHER PEOPLE MINISTRY.

2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
JOB WAS DELIVERED AFTER HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS.

Help us sent gospel tract over seas. Pakistan, India, Jamaica, Philippines and countries who whants gospel tracts. Make a donation today..
THE END

Come back for update soon.
The author of this article.

Job 42:10 And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
TO RECEIVE FORGIVNESS YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GIVE IT.

Mark 11:26 (KJV) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL PROSPERITY YOU MUST BE WILLING TO PLANT SEED OF FINANCE INTO OTHER PEOPLE MINISTRY.

2Co 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
JOB WAS DELIVERED AFTER HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS.

Psalm 34:8 (NASB-U) O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
HOW TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN.

Ezekiel 18:32 (ASV) For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord Jehovah: wherefore turn yourselves, and live.
First you must recognize that you are a sinner and need God mercy.

1 Peter 2:24 (Living) He personally carried the load of our sins in his own body when he died on the cross so that we can be finished with sin and live a good life from now on. For his wounds have healed ours!
YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF.

Hebrews 11:6 (Living) You can never please God without faith, without depending on him. Anyone who wants to come to God must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely look for him.
No other person can save you except Jesus.

Acts 4:12 (Living) There is salvation in no one else! Under all heaven there is no other name for men to call upon to save them."
Then you must know that God invites you to come to him.

Isaiah 1:18 (Living) "Come, let's talk this over!" says the Lord; "no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!
Do not wait until tomorrow to get save.

Ezekiel 33:11 (KJV) Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?
Now bow your head and pray this prayer.

1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
OUR BODY WAS NOT REEDEM AT CONVERSION.

2 Cor. 12:7 (NASB-U)Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself!
SOME THING YOU OVERCAME IT BY IMPUTED GRACE.